Story begins  —

The 2008 short animation "SKHIZEIN," directed by Jérémy Clapin, deeply resonated with me. Its protagonist, Henry, experiences a 91-centimeter detachment from reality following an accident, leading to disruptive daily routines and the need to create a scale to match the disparity.

This narrative reminded me of a period when I felt detached from myself, akin to depersonalization disorder (DPD), a psychiatric syndrome. DPD, the third most common psychiatric symptom, often follows anxiety and depression. As a response, I turned to dive in and paint out these abstract emotions, not with the intention of curing, but purely for the purpose of expression.

Research —

The patients' descriptions offer a vivid portrayal of the profound sense of unreality and detachment experienced in depersonalization. They liken themselves to walking shells, devoid of the normal vitality of life. While depersonalization is a widespread experience, few truly comprehend its impact. My goal is to capture this distinct sensation through illustration, raising public awareness about this often misunderstood condition and drawing attention to the realm of psychosis.

Elements —

There are 2 important elements going through this series.

• Jellyfish: Much like rootless DP sufferers, jellyfish embody spineless marine plankton devoid of heart and emotion. Their transparent bodies resemble glass, symbolizing the disconnect between body and soul in those affected by DP.

• Snowy screen: Inspired by a childhood memory, the snowy screen that appears on a TV devoid of signal echoes the sense of being lost, unguided, and formless. Its non-substantial nature aligns with the disorientation associated with depersonalization.

These clues serve to interconnect the scenes, weaving a stronger thematic thread throughout the series and enhancing its overall cohesion.

Lines —

I've engaged in life's observations, carefully curating elements in search of inspiration. Among the chosen are a tripod's stance, intricate branches, the play of light cascading through a shutter onto a shadowed wall, the rhythmic stripes of curtains, wisps of a distant cloud, the lines etched by attire, the mechanics of a shutter, and the artistry of light casting lines upon a hand.

Illustrations —

To blur the boundary of daydreams and reality, I designed the specific position for illusional elements and human. They are in different layers, but engaging together through the cut-out "windows", which could be found out by the readers when they are moving the pages forward. 

Moreover, it was experimented by combining with new materials: shining fabrics and transparent PVC boards, which brings the vibes on this zine into the next level.